Does That Gratefulness Grow on Trees?

If gratefulness grew on trees, I’d be one happy human being.

If I could smile when people tell me I should,

I might start believing I could.

If gratefulness was that easy to find and keep,

I’d make sure to keep a stockpile in the freezer.

Cause you see, sometimes, it’s hard to see the light

when you’re struggling to make ends meet.

Gratefulness don’t keep on these lights

and I can’t cash in a bunch of smiles in the Wal-Mart grocery line.

I can’t tell the phone company how strong my faith is

and how the strength of that should keep me connected.

If somehow I could find enough gratefulness to in my bones

to tell my man that I lost another job and I was too ashamed to come home.

If only gratefulness were able to keep my car running,

I’d be able to shuffle the kids to day care and…

my husband to his job while I look for one.

It’s hard to preach gratefulness when I look around

and barely see a life to be grateful for.

When I can’t properly bathe my children because there is no hot water…because…no electricity.

It’s hard to keep a faithful heart when I could barely start to tell you my problems

without a tear or two falling.

It’s hard to speak of gratefulness at Thanksgiving dinners when I could not contribute to its conception.

Don’t look at me at tell me how grateful I should be when you’re not living the perils of life with me.

Don’t ask why I haven’t prayed about it when you don’t know how much time I spend on me knees…

In the closet crying to the heavens that this adversity will let my spirit be.

I sure wish that gratefulness you speak of grew on trees. 

It’d be easier for me to digest the conflated advice you give in response to my needs. 

-Sarabi